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The Dos and Don'ts of Small Talk
And how to maintain longer conversations in English
Sophie @ Speak Tech English
September 30, 2024
In partnership with
Happy Monday, Reader! What topics can you talk about during those awkward moments while waiting for everyone to join a meeting or when speaking with someone for the first time?
Today you will learn how to:
use natural phrases for small talk
have longer conversations using open-ended questions
be more polite with indirect questions
VOCABULARY
Safe Topics
Definition: casual, polite and unimportant conversation
What makes something a “safe” topic for small talk?
→ Not personal (e.g. weight, salary,…)
→ Not controversial (e.g. political or legal views)
→ Inclusive and relatable (e.g. food, weather,..)
Examples: current events (without politics), hobbies/weekend activities, movies/books/tv shows, weather, travel plans, new technology
How can I keep conversations going longer?
Avoid yes/no questions and ask open-ended questions that encourage detailed answers. To do this, use who/what/where/when/how/why instead of do/did.
Option 1
A: Do you like your new apartment?
B: Yes/No
Option 2:
A: How’s your new apartment?
B: It’s great, it’s much bigger than I expected and it has a balcony!
A: Nice! I’ve always wanted a balcony, but it’s not very common in the UK.
Option 2 gives you more information to respond to and keeps the conversation flowing.
Sentence Structures
What’s your take on the new iPhone?
Have you heard of ByteByteGo for improving system design skills?
Did you hear about Oasis getting back together?
What did you get up to at the weekend?
Have you got any plans this weekend?
LEARNING TOOLS
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GRAMMAR
Indirect Questions For Risky Topics
There might be situations when you want to small talk about something that is not considered as “safe”. To do this, you can utilise indirect questions.
Take this example:
Person A: "How much do you earn?” (direct question)
This might leave person B feeling awkward if they don’t want to tell person A their exact salary, but also they don’t want to be rude and shut down their question.
Rephrased
Person A: “Are you happy with your salary?” (indirect question)
This gives person B the option to answer with as much detail as they like.
Person B: “Yes, I’m happy with it.” OR “Yes, I earn around $50k which is an above average salary in my city.”
Tip: Indirect questioning is very common in British culture, especially when talking with strangers.
Some direct questions are more impolite than others. It is less rude, for example, to ask ‘Where do you live?’ than ‘What do you do?’, but even this relatively inoffensive question is much better phrased in a more indirect manner, such as ‘Do you live nearby?’, or even more obliquely ‘Have you come far?’
How to ask an indirect question? Structure your question to focus on general feelings or opinions instead of specific, factual information.
Direct | Indirect |
|---|---|
How much did your car cost? | Was your car expensive? |
EXERCISES
Note: answers will be displayed in a new window. Remember to come back and complete the rest of the quiz!
Question 1Which of the following is an open-ended question? |
Question 2Why might you use an indirect question in small talk? |
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